Event DJ Articles needed! Wittiness Welcome!!

I need 20 articles written for a DJ/ Audio/Video Website. The website can be seen at [login to view URL] The articles should follow the themes of professional, sentimental, witty, and fun. These are going to be read by brides, grooms, business people planning award shows, and all kinds of people, so keep that style in mind. Not a lot of technical stuff- we're more about the "whys" and the common sense bit of it. people really don't care what kind of speakers you have, but they just want to know they're guests will have great sounding music. Some of the article topics can be seen on the homepage- we'll update some more, but in all, we're looking at 20 articles. Reply back with a few sentences that would go great with the style of copy that's currently on the homepage slider. Set the tone and show us what you got! The best paragraph will win the bid.