I enjoyed this short story but hope to work with you so I can smooth the transitions, and really help you project the voice that you are looking for. I feel it is still in the narrative of a western mind, or perhaps, I do feel that the voice projects both aboriginal and modern. Regardless, by adjusting the voice and the story line I believe I can guide you to what you want. My background is 20-years professional editing and writing experience along with a past academic record (MFA, George Mason University under V. Akysonov, Russian novelist). I propose you award the job to me after you let me rewrite the first 500-words. I'll do so for free to win your approval.