Help me create a SQL statement to find spam in my forum database

Hi! I have a phpBB forum that has accumulated a number of spam posts over the years. I need to create a simple SQL statement that will find the posts that contain the strings: -http -https -www. .com .net .org .info that don't contain the strings youtube world-of-lucid facebook twitter What should be returned by the query is just the post id and the URL contained in the post. This data must be able to be exported to Excel. This work must not change the DB structure. Must not create a performance issue and crash the DB. This should be a very quick and simple project as it's just a small SQL statement that someone with the skill can write in a few minutes. I'll also need you to work with me as I run the script on the DB and make any revisions needed to perfect the results so that I can capture spam postings. You will not be provided with DB access, so you will need to write queries and pass them to be to run. Thanks!