Calendar/Date Manipulation in HTML

I need to generate text for a webpage that dynamically changes based on todays date. More specifically, I need to generate the day and date text/information for the next/upcoming friday based on todays date. For example, if today is December 24, 2009? then I would like to generate the text "Friday, December 25th" Or, if today is January 4, 2009, then the text that should be automatically generated is "Friday, January 9" If todays date is a Friday, then the text generated should be "Tonight" Let me know if it is possible to do this without using Javascript or anything other than html as I would like this to work within the html code I use for eBay auctions. I am ready to award $20 to someone who can quickly tell me how to do this Thanks!