About Me Text - repost

Hi all, I need a new fresh text for my About Me page. I am in the photography business. I am looking for a somehow funny but still serious text about myself. It must not be something that just sounds like another version of someone else. I am looking for a unique unforgettable impression. I can be in third person in the beginning and the moves on to first person. The overall goal of course is to explain why I am different, qualified and why people should hire me. Again, fun, serious, to the point, unforgettable and no copy/paste from the other millions of photographers about me out there. I will also add some pictures of myself (or just one) I will of course provide a lot more details later on. Native US speakers is a MUST. And please no further outsourcing.