Humorous Writer Needed

1. Yes. 2. -1 if that could be an answer “Offer me this job,” he said, “and I’ll take it and make you proud!” That’s not the traditional way to open the cover letter for a job application, but I take the “creative” in creative writing very seriously. Indeed, an employer can expect from me consistent creativity and seriousness of purpose. After years of study, I have mastered the techniques, mechanics, and, most importantly, dynamics which make the written word engaging. I strive, in innovative ways, to craft complex ideas into accessible and readable concepts that jump off the page and into the reader’s thoughts. In my opinion, capturing the moment is only part of the craft. Of equal or greater importance is building reader interest and involvement — making the reader an actual participant in the moment. Being able to do so is one of my greatest skills. Therefore, when that moment arrives, I am confident that the message, and with it, the story, will “pop” so as to evoke the desired emotional response. Over the years, I have honed my writing skills to enable flawless execution in meticulous language. I will not only help you with the hook, line, and sinker, I will get you into the boat and take you to the biggest catch.

Dear Charlie: I will answer your questions first: 1. I write and laugh in the anticipation that others will laugh. 2. I give him 5 and a -10. I would love to discuss this further with you. Thanks! Zack K.

Dear Employer, This is Peter from Australia. I am a native English speaker with years of writing experience. I write high quality, clear, and eloquent SEO articles, blog posts, and other content for websites. I care about the structure and sound of writing. I can create anything from precise, targeted web content to subtitles for a loved one. To have your project completed on time, Can you confirm few things? - No of article - Turnaround time - Title of your article - Word count of each article Let’s have a quick chat to finalize your project. Best Regards Peter

Lifestyle writer and designer Claire Charters has a love affair with words and is always seeking and Searching for the right words to help enchant and spark inspiration within others.

Hi, My proposal is related to writing humours content on recent stories for the new media company. I am clear about the requirements you mentioned on your project description and confident to present you the exceptional write up according to the desired requirements. I am a qualified creative writer with the desired skill set to perform this task efficiently and deliver you a top-notch quality as required. My ultimate goal is to meet your needs, exceeding your expectations! Leave me a message so we can discuss it further and get your outstanding write up a ready in a short time. My skills: Article Writing, Content Writing, Creative Writing. Regards, Moeez. H

Hi Helen here! As an article writer, I posses vast experience providing unique, plagiarism free material. I can offer experience and skills in many areas. I am knowledgeable in writing, marketing and web skills. I consider myself an "out of the box" thinker, which assists me in completing projects quickly, creatively, and going beyond the client's expectations. This offer is not just limited to articles... If you want me to write you an auto responder series, press release, rewrite, website content, proofreading or even a full-length eBook then I can do that for you.

Hey Charlie I read your project description and would like to be considered for this writing job. Please hire me. The answer to the first question is yes. I love writing funny stuff, help my friend run a funny meme page on Instagram. Donald Trump has a neutral image in India. From all the news I hear and read about him, I feel he has been doing a good job for Americans. My rating would be 7/10. Do you hire from India? If not, then it is ok. But I would like to work for your media company. You can check my portfolio and reviews. I can write a sample for you if that will help me have this job. Please reply in the chat box. Thanks for giving your time. Sachin

I hope this note finds you well! My name is Breton, and it is my pleasure to be applying for this job. Following my schooling at the University of Toronto, I embarked upon a career in writing and ghost writing. The last few years have found me completing over ten books for various clients around the globe. Most recently, I completed an 80k fantasy novel for a Fantasy Genre company. Prior to this engagement, I ghost wrote a 45 comedy article series on hygiene, and a full website about condoms and other sex toys (in a funny, friendly writing voice). I have about 3 years' of experience working as a content editor- that spans SEO articles, technical papers, working for a satire news paper, and novels. 1) Do you ever make yourself laugh when writing something funny? YES! I'm weird and sarcastic and I operate on the premise of this- if I'm not even laughing, then who will be?! 2) On a scale of 1-10, how successful do you believe our current president has been since taking office? OBVIOUSLY 500000/10- haven't you been reading the Fake News? Jeez.

Hello, kindly assign to me this project. I have handled similar job in the past and I promise to give you my best. yes i laugh when writing something funny. I can rate my president on a scale of 7 out of 10. he has failed to work on corruption. I have samples of what i have offered my clients in the past. I am keen on quality while adhering to the time given. trust me on this one. lets chat

I can handle the content for this newsletter. Right-leaning, humorous and sarcastic are a few adjectives that come to mind are my assets. 1) Do you ever make yourself laugh when writing something funny? Yes, but most of the time it was the readers laughing and I had no clue. 2) On a scale of 1-10, how successful do you believe our current president has been since taking office? 7

1. I laugh so hard at one of my jokes once, i started fart laughing. I laughed so hard that i got red and ran out of breath. 2. If Chaos is what he aimed for, he is doing a spectacular job.

I will love to work with you. I have a good sense of humour and so is my writing. Awaiting a positive feedback from you.

I am mainly interested in writing i need to prove my talent with this project just believe me for best outcome of your reqirement

1. I never laugh out loud. But a chuckle and sigh goes a long way 2. USA President 0/10. Aint nobody screwing with the matriarchy anymore.

Hi, Happy Labor Day weekend. Before I get into my highlights, I will just say that I'm a 39- year old Christian male whom would and does give our current President a 9. Orange is definitely the new black, but this color doesn't run and it won't soon fade away. Just in time for fall! Pumpkin spice and everything nice- including a new NAFTA! Have your kids dress as that for Halloween! No tricks, just treats. :) I have a decade of experience doing QA and testing for Dell/Convergys, AOL/Convergys, Carnival and most recently, my own company, DaY and Light Travel, an affiliate of Avoya Travel. I have done training for AOL, Dell and Carnival as well as writing for Carnival, US Youth Soccer and DaY and Light Travel. I am prompt, professional and like to inject my personality and work ethic into everything I do. If I can be of assistance to you with anything, please just let me know. Have a great weekend! Best Wishes and Blessings, Derek

Answering your questions, yes, i make myself laugh all the time but who doesn't, we are mostly our ownselves biggest fans and i have a thing for comedy so i make myself laugh yes. As for the second question i have no idea how to answer it because i'm an egyptian i guess i don't follow up. Perfect for the job, ready to make other people's morning, no proof unless you take my word on it but my writings are always described as light words with a sense of romance that cause a laugh even with the most gloomy subjects. I'm an experienced copy editor as well so no need to worry about grammer or spelling mistakes which can give the newsletter a cheesy cheap look, and so, i'm here and ready to save the job.

I am a retired UK secondary school teacher with an excellent command of English, unlike you guys across the pond! I am of the belief that your publication could benefit immensely from a perspective of the outside looking in. I always make myself laugh when writing something funny, otherwise it wouldn't be funny. Regarding President Trump, well, what can I say, we here tend to see him as a bit of a clown but what the hell do we know, we have Theresa may and Boris Johnson, our own clowns who kind of 'trump' yours hands down. I am sarcastic, acerbic and blunt, not always a way to make friends and influence people but boy, can I wind them up! I can do this job, standing on my head!!

Hi! Humor is my middle name. I believe I could be a nice addition to your team. Here are my answers. 1. I do not laugh often when writing something funny since I consider it stupid to laugh at myself, but there were a few cases when I laughed the top of my head off. 2. DJ Trump is in da house. How would I rate him? Hmmm… Well, I’m from Croatia, so I don’t know much about him, but news travel fast, and we get news about him here all the time. I actually believe the tribes in the Amazon have heard about Trump and his misadventures. He’s a man with a tongue greater than the Empire State Building, with a hot wife and an even hotter daughter, and a Twitter account that is considered America’s deadliest weapon. That man has no hairs on his tongue or his fingers, and will say and write whatever befalls his mind. Let’s just hope he doesn’t drag us into another World War. I would give him 7/10, but I’m not from the US, so I can’t be the one to judge.