Creative Product Descriptions for Print Items

To have a creative and funny tone of writing. It has to show personality and can not be your typical product description. The best way for me to explain the style of writing I am looking for is to have you look at [login to view URL] Read the welcome paragraph. Then click on the "what we do" categories on the top and read those paragraphs. Finally click on "culture" and "top ten reasons." If you can write like that then your hired! :) Job Description: Your responsibilities: - Create highly engaging and completely unique content for our print product descriptions. Products: 4D Lenticular, T-Shirts, Hats, Banners, Classic Banner Stand, Retractable Banner, Collapsible Banner Stand, Step & Repeat, Booklets, Bookmarks, Brochures, Business Cards, Buttons, Calendars, Canvas, NCR Carbonless Forms, Catalog Sheets, CD Covers, CD Inserts, CD Sleeves, Comp Cards/Head Shots, Creative Design, Custom Orders, Direct Mail Services, Door Hangers, DVD Covers, DVD Inserts, Mailing, Embroidery, Waterproof/Tearproof Paper, Envelopes, Event Tickets, Flyers, Foil, Spot UV, Silk Laminated, Giant Checks, Gift Certificates, Greeting Cards, Hang Tags, Hats, Posters, Letterhead, Magazines, Magnets, Rigid Signs, Mugs, Fans, Copies, Notepads, Placemats, Plastic Cards, Polo Shirts, Postcards, Presentation Folders, Promotional Products, Die-Cut Cards, Puzzles, QR Codes, Rack Cards, Sales Sheets, Scratch-Off Postcards, Stamps, Step Sheets, Stickers, Table Tents, Tear Off Cards, Trading Cards, Vehicle Magnets, Vehicle Wraps, Vinyl, Window Cling, and a few more. Your qualifications: - Fluent English including excellent writing, grammar, spelling and formatting - A work style that is extremely detail oriented - Strong communication skills - A complete Elance profile - An exceptional portfolio that demonstrates creativity, talent and a sense of imagination - References or an established reputation on Elance preferred We will explain any and all print products you may not understand.